Here we go…

Real. Raw. From the heart. I hope to God 💙🙏🏽, it’s worth it…

It all began on Thanksgiving Day 2020…

It was the first time in 41 years I’ve ever been alone on this day.

My partner, Scott, went home to see family and I chose to stay behind since Diego, my 13 yr old fur-child now requires more attention and care.

I decided to spend 4 hours on Thanksgiving Day in complete silence for 3 reasons…

#1 To see if I could

#2 To experience what could/would come out of it

#3 Unconsciously, I was being guided to do so…

This meant…

No phones.

No screens.

No talking to Diego, reading, eating, journaling or doing laundry. 

No thing…

Just sitting in total silence with me and my thoughts.

So I did it and…

I failed miserably.

I started with a glass of wine. Put that away because it felt a bit, “uncool” with the spiritual theme and all…

Distracted myself with food, taking Diego outside, and all along thinking this was so easy… 

and in the end, completely defeating the purpose, to sit and be with JUST ME…

Here’s where the self eval kicked in…

I was sooo in my freaking head!

Thinking, planning, analyzing, dreaming…

Strategizing and planning out my entire 2021 in my mind since I couldn’t use paper or a computer, so I could be “productive”.

As a “Do-er”, I couldn’t just BE

If it didn’t feel productive, like I was “getting shit done”, it was a waste of time.

I had no idea at the time, that those 4 hours would be the catalyst for a major decision I’d soon be confronted with that would lead to some of the darkest days in my life.

Have you ever felt guided to do something and you didn’t know why or what would come out of it but the feeling was so strong, you just had to listen??

After completing November’s Get Primed Challenge, I felt completely unfulfilled and so incongruent inside.

Not only was it not enough, “it” wasn’t good enough

Perhaps you can relate…

The truth of the matter was, it’s NEVER been good enough. 

No matter how much I sold, achieved, accomplished in my life, 3 degrees later, so many certifications, awards and accomplishments, hundreds of thousands of dollars invested into up-leveling me and my skill-set, trying to impress family, friends, bosses, colleagues…

Years spent building a brand and identity that put me on a pedestal so others could see me as an “influencer” who could lead them to the promised land of success, achievement and living The 1% Life…

No matter how good it got, it was never good enough.

For as long as I can remember, going all the way back to my Timeshare selling days, at the end of every month I’d think to myself…

“I could have done better”…

Even when I was the #1 sales rep, my sales were never “good enough”.

My paycheck wasn’t “big enough”.

When I left Timeshare and became an entrepreneur, the story only continued…

My entire team…Not good enough!  

(Of course, they were only a projection of my inner beliefs about me, so how could they ever be good enough?!)

I wasn’t doing enough. 

And what I was doing…wasn’t fast enough or big enough.

I wasn’t yet skilled enough.

I wasn’t competent enough.

Not impacting enough people.

Not selling enough… 

Even in my personal relationships, my partners were never good enough.

Notice a pattern???

It was NEVER enough!

So then it hit me…

Nothing would ever be good enough until I knew that

I AM ENOUGH…

Something had to change. 

My unconscious mind revealed to me that there was an inner child in me screaming to be heard, seen, recognized, and allowed to come out and play.

This child’s needs and desires had been suppressed for so many years with all 

the doing, accomplishing, pushing, and achieving she felt unfulfilled, depleted, unworthy and yearning for something more.

That’s when I knew I had to make a life-altering decision to step away 

and let it ALL go…

To be continued…

With Love,

 

 

 

 

 

P.S. If you’re feeling frustrated, in a funk, and need to start selling deals…

Or maybe you are ready to start playing a bigger game now and would like help being a 1%’er, then I’d like to offer you a complimentary “Unleashed Call” to help you get clear on what’s standing in your way and how to breakthrough.

Pin It on Pinterest

Share This